My Republic

im thinking of renaming this blog to my republic

because then y'all would def know it is mine.
i like my space here
i dont like my note space on facebook

facebook hate because people i dont even know but go to my school talk in person about me or whatev and troll my notes and start arguing with me, no wait, not arguing, SHIT TALKING at me. presuming all kinds of things that werent even in what i wrote, and if these people just knew how to think properly it wouldnt be a big deal.

most of the time im accused of something i dont think is fair.

a lot of the time it feels like they are just having out their identity crisis out on me, not actually paying attention to what i said or how i said it, but taking what i say as an impetus to turn it into something they can lecture me on with their specialty.

someone i dont even KNOW just did this to me. after talking down to me coz this person has nothing better to do on a saturday night, i wrote back and corrected her presumptions. but the worst thing is when someone presumes something about you in order to correct what they think is you being presumptuous. MY how that just riles me up, it is so WHO TALK YOU TO THINK i cant even SPLAIN

and in my own defence, i have a job interview tommorrow at 11 so i am taking it easy tonight, rereading the job descript, being responsible. THIS PERSON however, just has nothing better to do, and has nothing better to talk about in her crappy circle of friends than how i have a reputation.

take for 'zample

V.C:
It's condescending to the gay rights movement to even imply that homosexuality is a choice.

And yes, you are condescending. You are completely unable to accept an opinion which isn't your own, and find a way to twist the words of any person with whom you are debating into whatever you want them to mean.

Your reputation precedes you in a glorious way.

ME:

first, i never actually implied that homosexuality was a choice. thats not even in my original article, and its condescending to project your issues onto me and lecture me about them thank you. I DID say that there is a moment when someone realizes themselves as homosexual, and with some women i know, they realize this because they are tired of looking for love with a man, that these men had some kind of consistent essential flaw. thats not saying its a choice at all, choice or no choice i dont weigh in on that. i did, if anything, highlight how heterosexist society is in the sense that women were looking for love perhaps in the wrong place. but ANYWAY

second, if defending my ideas means twisting arguments around, all the while being twisted and misconstrued by someone who actsh' doesnt know me, then i spoze i am a twisted sonofabitch.

but finally

i have a reputation? who is so lonely and boring, who actually talks about me in their meagre group of friends? i dont even know you, thats who. you dont have a reputation because nobody cares what you think.

HONESTLY

PS. i am indebted to my cyberfriend RAYMI, who gets it way worse than i ever do, nobody has yet to anonymously call me fat and spy on my posts every day because of THEIR identity crisis. i love you so much how do you not go off the deepend at people, then again, it helps in realizing how much better you are than everyone else, doesnt it.

Marriage Is...

Bennett says:
stupid friends getting married

milk and honey says:
haha

milk and honey says:
yea

Bennett says:
I cant believe penises and vaginas are coming together under a binding agreement involving God

milk and honey says:
hahahahhahaha

Menial madness is my specialty

well not really MY specialty.

i read a lot of menial madness truth be told and it is therapeutic in the sense that it probably isn't at all and im sure there is a platoon of psychiatrists and pharmacists who would rather have me stay away from these blogs than go to them and get any ideas or sense of reality.

then again if there was no madness what jobs would they have, they would be just as unemployed as i have been in the past, but like i said good thing i have a job now i am starting to feel like i fit in more and the more i do that the less any of those shrinks have jobs. too bad i am knowing this otherwise i would say i am in full recovery and they could be completely redundant but alas here i am on a beautiful day out-thinking a half-imagined force that bears down on my sense of me, fearing that by thinking about them like this i am making them more useful.

listen its just that i dont want to live in a completely determined universe that's all im probably all kinds of imbalances, how else can you explain near crying and such rushes of pleasure without overly relying on the hormone thing, that cant only be it it was like that my whole life.

sometimes i would wake up when i was a kid and take off my pajamas and feel dirty being naked alone and guilt would consume me so much that putting on clothes even felt cheap because i was to my own knowledge still some lonely naked kid underneath whatever i put on. i also used to make my ken and barbie dolls have sex. the guilt of knowing anything dirty or perverted about yourself makes you your own real and private voyeur.

but if it's between street junkie toothless skeleton face guy and his drug, and some psychiatrist doctorate money control freak disciplinarian and his pharmaceutical, or death plain old death and take neither, i'd take what the skeleton face guy could give me, because unlike the psychiatrist at least with the skeletor the effects of such a thing are all over his face.

From the moment of birth, when the stone-age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence, called love, as its mother and father have been, and their parents and their parents before them. These forces are mainly concerned with destroying most of its potentialities. This enterprise is on the whole successful. By the time the new human being is fifteen or so, we are left with a being like ourselves. A half-crazed creature, more or less adjusted to a mad world. This is normality in our present age. -- R.D. Laing

okay thats all now look at this foto i took its a sunrise

EMPLOYED!

YESSSSSS i am employed wooo formally yess score i am so happy i can be a productive member of society and NO its not starbucks NO its not second cup NO its not fundraising and knocking on doors its actual jobbery WOOOO i am now working at the Centre for Students with Disabilities score yes wooooooooo yes i am now at home drinking a beer it is in fact just after five i am ahead of you all i start on friday it goes for a year it will be a year of exciting and MEANINGFUL work omg omg omg i didnt think it was possible in ottawa but whoops look it happened no more feeling like i am going out of my mind because i think im incredibly useful and ottawa doesnt because it does, woooooooooo

in other news, im mos def taking some college courses to improve and certify my ASL (american sign language) this is great this is the start of something yea i am happy this is real good news not sarcastic crabby news that i always put out there

okay, i am going to go shower woooooo see ya

The Obvious

the star is reporting that the gap between the rich and the poor has widened.

ahem. DUH. thanks for the stats and everything, but really, does anyone expect it to close? would that be a realistic thing in the first place?

at least, i spoze, it is considered news at all.

in other news, i am job hunting, if you know anyone hiring and looking for a great intelligent worker who is hiring in ottawa, --->contact me<----

that is all, its kind of boring but so are you ha ha ha