Bathroom talk

im also a fan of bathroom talk.

one of the funnier ones was
"no snowflake falls in the wrong place"
and underneath?
"aww, you're HIGH"

hahaha.

others are always the same, like
"if you are sleeping with someone and you know he doesnt care about you what do you do?"
followed shortly by both
"ask someone who loves you what to do"
and
"love yourself"

or there was also

"if you have an internet friend is it cheating?"

ahhhhhh ha ha ha

whats just clutch is that all of this is nothing new, same questions everywhere. this was a bar downtown ottawa, but it could very well be a u of O bathroom or highschool or something.

love it.

Good news

it is a lovely day perfect temperature for once not humid gross and not chilly frigid it is just perfect, so i will sit here inside finding the best adjectives to describe outside.

the bad news is that laptop screens disappear outside, you cant see nuffin here i thought ill buy a laptop do the whole twenty something dreamer thing and write my manifesto in the park under a tree well GUESS AGAIN all of that is just false advertising you have to buy stuff for your stuff to do that. should have got a typewriter.

so i have my period again i suppose thats good news when you are sexually active its like im back in grade 10 you know when you discover how happy a period can make a girl in spite of the pain and loss of self control and uppityness of emotions. oh, i spoze that explains why i screamed at one of my roommates yesturday instead of being smart-snide and funny, i just had no control. hm. funny that.

ive also had dreams on this period where some girl is hitting on my boyfriend and i spend the rest of the dream beating her up, something that doesnt make a lot of sense in real life he is culpable but in dream world definately the way to get your shit out of you.

i dont know what to do today, i want to do some push ups because im going sea kayaking in BC and dont want to slow the group down and more importantly i dont want to be thought of by anyone in BC as some, what do they call it, city slicker, well not really there must be some more modern word for it but then again maybe thats city slicker of me to think they would modernize.

but this house is filthy, and asides from the bed that is too cushy there is nowhere to do some good push upping. i think ill go start a fight.

no surprises

The star is reporting that first born kids are brighter than second or third born kids, and that kids get dumber the more you pump out.

hmm.

so what does brighter mean?

If it means that they are more willing to try to do well on tests that adults give them, tests and tricks that have no value for anything except being rated, then I suppose you could call them bright. I, on the other hand, have found the following adjectives more appropriate:

obedient
subservient
manipulatable
dim
annoying
boring

and so on.

I mean, maybe the only real reason they are achievers is because they are so incensed that their parents didnt think they were perfect and so decided to try to have a better kid, begetting the whole overachiever complex in the first place.

If, on the other hand, the younger kid is all yo so if this doesnt mean anything then im not going to try much my older sibling is always the try-er and the moment i start there's no going back, i dont have anything to prove and im not about to set up expectations just to break them and disappoint. yep, ill take the lower IQ score and that way when i choose to do something really awesome everyone is amazed how much i have grown and become so wise while my try-hard older sibling idles on saving orphans and the parents just shrug that off saying DUH you better you have the higher IQ.

hah.

So really the brighter kids might just end up being the youngest kids who have been watching and got to play stupid when their parents were playing the measuring game on their older siblings.

yup. eat it, IQ tests.

Internet God and his personality.

God now is in forwards. He is in spam. There are stories about a benevolent god who is forgiving; who wont let chalk fall and break to prove his existence, and there are stories of an angry god and his wonderful christian nation.

Take for example:

Happy loving generous god forwards:

God's Coffee
A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: ceramic, porcelain, plastic, glass, china - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee...

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering...

''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems... ''Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee!”

In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups... Then you began eyeing each other's cups....''

''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live...'' ''Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us... God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!''

The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything...So please remember:

1. Live simply.

2. Love generously.

3. Care Deeply.

4. Speak Kindly.

5. Leave the Rest to God

uhhhh huh.... and now take the not so happy christian nation god:

I celebrate Christmas...........but because it isn't celebrated by everyone..............we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings.

It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?

We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.
This says it all!
IMMIGRANTS,
NOT Canadians
MUST ADAPT.
I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Canadians. However...... the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct! ' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

'We Stand On Guard For Thee' is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan.. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women.......on Christian principles.............founded this nation..... and this is clearly documented.It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.
If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home.........because

God is part of our culture.

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
This is OUR COUNTRY,
our land, and our lifestyle.
But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and griping....... about our flag.......our pledge...... our national motto........or our
way of life....I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other Great Canadian Freedom.......

THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.


It is Time for Canada to Speak up
If you agree -- pass this along;
if you don't agree -- delete it!

AMEN

so what have we learned here?

Among other things, my step-side of the family is whacked. Completely. And if anyone has any advice as to how to not recieve these emails, heck, how to tell them that i dont subscribe to this in the least, and that i find it offensive to be assumed that i do, that would be great.

like i dont send them spam emails about how old people are biggots and young people should inherit the earth and never let old people use the internet because they will spread their biggotted ideas, so why is it okay for them i dunno.

But also, more importantly, what kind of Internet god tells me, on the one hand, to live simply, love generoulsy, care deeply, speak kindly, and whatev, while on the other hand doing none of it in an email about immigrants.

It is most confusing to the agnostics, who are already confused enough, but i spoze it makes perfect sense to the God lovers... somehow.

donno, okay, done.