I was

upset.

dont you just hate how everytime it feels like you got ahead a bit you find out something else has got you by the gonads and now you've got to spend a few hours on the phone or in line to talk to someone who will tell you some crappy policy and how because they make the rules they're very sorry you broke them

well i felt this way, maybe its just me. maybe everyone else around me has it easy and i take all the unluck because im saving up my good luck for when i really need it and people should be grateful that im constantly being audited or penalized or screwed over somehow by some thing or other.

i had set up with my very nice landlord that two months rent should go through today december 1st because well he has some unluck too and his ex wife wants a piece of the money we pay so everything went on hold but resumed today. so i go to the bank to make sure the cheques will clear and the money is there and after a few transfers from accounts im ready to go. then OSAP without warning an in an obscure code online takes 208$ just like that even though im still in school and just claimed another portion of this gigantic loan.

well this is because the ministry and real life are very different. this might be because my sketchy crack head landlord took forever to remember when he scheduled the meeting and often yelled at me on the phone or played the 'no IM the landlord I KNOW THESE THINGS you are wrong we didnt say monday we said thursday' deal and im like you're the guy on crack but im sure that hasnt done anything to your memory... so it took forever to get the rent receipts for my audit, yes, thats right, revenue canada has nothing better to go after than me two years in a row. BUT ANYWAYS im doing it again arent i, being that emo kid who gets all WHY ME why not my friend mike he has a nice car i want to cry. I expressed all this in my F-Bomb entry.

i WAS upset, now i am at peace with the ministry. even though there are people who are making salaries off of nonsense like this, fine, i will raise horrible sons who will impregnate their grand daughters.

anyways im wondering what to do with these blogs i have, one was for bad news and one is for good, but lately politics has all been bad news and theres too much to take on im like, nevermind i'd have to write a manifesto. good news will always be my place of digital art and mastery or writings, but i wonder what else... what....else.

maybe i will make my face appear and have a profile or something.

you know what would upset me is if ministry people searched google and found this post and were like YESS we rule instead of OH WHAT ARE WE DOING but really im over it.